| ~it's christmas.
~i'm waiting for vicki to come to my house. ( i kinda stole her kitten so she would)
~this girl is 100% amazing in my eyes.
~things in the house is outta control.
~brutus is getting big.
~i got a part time job at d'angelo's.
~still working at ehop.
~can't wait for summer, it IS rite around the corner.
~my life is falling into place. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| it's been a couple of days since the last post.
alot went down.
weds nite vicki and i went to the 3 for the busiest nite, that wasn't so busy. (18+ tho)
asked her to be my gf.
she accepted.
thanksgiving was unbelievable.
shannon, jaimz, jes and sam made this the best turkey day EVER.
thanksgiving Frisbee and the ass champ, shannon
vicki was on her way from dover to visit me and stay the nite, when sarah beth crashed into a tree.
she isn't excited that v and i are together.
they are exes.
so i was at wentworth douglas hospital in dover til 1am
got home around 2.
filled jamie in.
went to sleep.
did NOT want to wake up.
worked 10am-7pm
shannon picked me up from work
picked up sam at the dollar tree.
jes brought jamie to the ER for an inflated uterus.
visited them.
home to do laundry.
i'm so sick of the emergency room
i just want to go to sleep.
next to VICKI.
tomorrow we are supposed to go to fran's place in lynn.
she's never been.
and sunday we are gonna do something eventful.
i'm thinking, movies, air hockey, roller skating and/or bowling.
i just hope this is real.
end of story. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | bubbly. | | Subject: | pussy. | | Time: | 08:57 am |
|
| i wake up to jes disassembling the shower.
i haven't showered since late sunday nite.
i didn't get much sleep.
worked 11 hours yesterday,
and gotta do it again today.
gotta work on my day off.
super tired.
i chickened out on asking vicki to be my girl.
loser.
wuss.
grow balls.
i hate the holidays.
either i work alot or barely.
can i cry?
just hold me.
3 weeks of celibacy to go.
i like her.
don't want to rush.
i love the way she touches.
whoa, this is deep.
i appreciate that she drives from dover (45 mins) to see me.
i'm gonna buy a "MOTHER OF ALL RED BULLS"
i had 3 yesterday.
16.9 oz of pure wings. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i like the way she hugs me.
i like the way she kisses me.
i like the way she touches me.
i like the way she makes me feel.
i just don't like the situation we're in. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| november 13th, 2007.
weird.
posting.
emotions.
tug of war.
who is she with, if she's with anyone?
where do i stand in her life?
is this all just a joke?
karma?
susans gone.
cait is concerened.
sam claims she's still in love with me.
i got so much love in one girl, and i've accepted that it'll never happen.
move on and not let it affect me.
yup. that's what i'm gonna attempt to do.
my eyes are like sandpaper.
my body feels like a ton of cement.
my brain is like jelly
my heart is like.... a jigsaw puzzle.
i always wonder, what's so wrong with me?
why does every relationship i've ever been in fail?
i'm 25 years old.
i need to start settling down.
maybe i need to be with someone way younger than me.
i can't keep doing this.
i am surrounded by so many wonderful people, constantly.
but when i'm alone, i just want to cry.
i want to break down.
but i just so badly want someone to hold me.
to let me cry on their shoulder and kiss me on the forehead and tell me it's gonna be ok.
i want to love
and be loved.
i want to walk into a room and just see into her eyes, how much she loves me.
i want her to daydream about me.
send me cute texts about how she's just thinking about me.
i want to feel wanted.
this is killing me inside.
but i'll never admit it
i want to cry.
i want sleep.
i need sleep.
been up for over 21 hours straight
if i cry, i'll be in a pool of tears.
i'll drowned.
this chair is so uncomfortable.
i drink myself into obliviation.
sobriety isn't an option.
drink the pain.
and piss it away.
emo is the way to go.
every time i want to cry, i laugh instead.
"will U count me in?"
the rain is cold.
makes me sad.
i love rain,
i hate cold.
why does it feel like no one understands me.
am i not understandable?
if they don't get me now, they never will. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 11:08 am | | Current Mood: | EMO. |
|
| i can't believe that i'm doing a post.
it's been a very long time.
i got alot of things going thru my head rite now.
susan and i broke up.
ripped me up.
i'm shattered.
it wouldn't be that bad,
if she wasn't with my "bestfriend".
i'm not as mad as i used to be.
i'm still mad.
i'm finally starting to accept it.
it's crazy how much i loved her.
and for her to not care, after a year just kills me.
this summer has flewn by.
not in a good way either.
i wish i could just lay in her arms,
and for her to tell me everything will be ok.
i've only been thru this kind of pain once before.
with caitlin.
i never thought i would let my guard down,
only to be demolished again.
we even got matching tattoos.
we were planning our lives together.
or atleast i was.
i still don't understand what i did so wrong.
or was it an excuse to be with someone else.
how could u walk away from someone
so easily after a year?
when did she fall out of love with me?
when did she start to hate me?
it's still hard to comprehend.
it's still hard to accept.
i'm waiting for the day for her to,
run up to me and tell me she still loves me.
but until that day comes,
i'll hold my breath.
maybe i'll die.
the pain will go away. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i said i'd do a post for ya, here it is ;-)
have a good day.
~A | | comments: Leave a comment |
| my lj account is dead. i won't update anymore, *unless i'm REALLY bored* if u want to keep in touch with me, and see pics and what's going on check out my myspace account.
http://www.myspace.com/butchin_it
Later Haters,
~A | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | i really want to post and do a long entry, but i honestly have nothing to say. i am sad to admit that i think my lj phase is gonna die very soon. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| what's wrong with this comment?
(Anonymous)
2005-12-09 01:48 am UTC (from 67.41.8.193) (link) Select
thats not the rite order the song gos in & its not rite sorri but true !
corrections are below:
that'S
right
goEs
it's
right
sorry
must we go throught this again?
plus, i was so drunk when i did this. as a matter of fact, i had to cut and paste it!
WHAT NOW.................BITCH!!!!!!!!!! the exclamation points go right after the last letter, there is no space! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| hey folks, i'm here in haver-hill. sam is annoying me to post in livejournal. so here i am. sue just im'ed me cause i'm actually on aim
oh snap, exercise time,
later haters,
~A | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i'm sittin at my mami's house. she's supposed to be folding laundry, but instead she's laying her head on my shoulder, reading everything im writing. i had such a good day today. julia and i went to the mall and i did a little shopping. we met up with sam and morgan. it was the first time julia and morgan had met. it was so funny. julia has a new best friend, and she's not even 4! lol i don't kno what else to write, i'd say i'm gonna go to have sex, but that would be a lie....... ugh, i'm gonna go eat my cake my girlfriend built for me. :-D
later haters,
~A | | comments: Leave a comment |
| so i am at sams house. i slept over last nite, and woke up to my sexy mama, morgan, and snow! morgan wants to type. here it goes: xzswmngdeewwewqzcvbnmnmpooiuyuyrttrewqqqqqqqqqt2345567890`12ew`12q32546789999999999990m**n****nnvbvxccxz8
ok dsw22~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``````````````````````````````````````````````8%8(,,mnbvcxcxzJHKJasfghjk ashley loves sam! zxcccvvvbnm,./assdsdffgghhhjkkkl;;''`qwerty tarattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttc hhhggggtttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
ok...so i'm not gonna get much in anymore, so i'm gonna head out.
have a happy and safe thanksgiving
~A
p.s. later haters | | comments: Leave a comment |
| ok so i'm def sick. sam came to my work last nite to give me meds. i am suprised i took them. me her and morgan watched napoleon on the couch with kobe. it was family time. today i went to lynn with julia to see her mom. it was fun. thursday i ended up spending like over $100 at american eagle. and another $100+ on cologne.
i am going into work late tomorrow. at 4!!! YAY!!!
i can't wait til thursday! i get to eat 2 dinners. first with sam's fam and then with MY DAD!!!!!!!!!
i'm gonna get going. i'm gonna go take a hot shower.
Later haters,
~A
p.s. i got my sam's card. lol | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Hey
(Anonymous)
2005-11-16 06:15 pm UTC (from 68.250.203.132) (link) Select
What happened to the fucking with me dumbass you so fuckin stupid dumb white hoe... Go suck a dick
believe it or not, i'm on the floor laughing! atleast they spelled "hoe" and "dumb" correctly.
this is why i'm an asshole, i'm gonna dissect this......
What happened to (1)"the" fucking with me (2)dumbass(3) (4)"you" so fuckin stupid(5) (6) dumb white hoe... (7)Go suck a dick
1. the? what the?
2. there should be "," inserted here.
3. insert "."
4. now i'm not an english major, but wouldn't it be you're?
5. insert "."
6. insert "you're a"
7. oh i love this....go suck a dick.
******hm... let me go put mine on and you can suck MY DICK! * grabs crotch******
this is my #1 hater...
LATER HATER!!!
~A | | comments: Leave a comment |
| my throat is sore. and i don't feel good. my girl got me sick.
i got my car fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it only cost $178. and i still got $322 left to spend on whatever i want. i was thinking of a digital camera or maybe a cd player for my car. or a shopping spree at american eagle. i got my lowest nextel bill in yesterday. $67.68 i'm so used to it being over $100. maybe i'll save the $$ and take sam out to dinner and a movie or something. i guess sal put an offer on a condo this week. let's see what goes down with that.
i gotta get my haircut today. it seems like every 2 weeks on thursdays i get my hair cut.
later haters,
~A | | comments: Leave a comment |
| so i am my girl's house. we just finished touching up my myspace profile. i've spent the past week with her. and she's so impressed that i am typing without looking at the screen. she's laughing at me. not only do i have skills, i have "talent". Madd talent. like 9 and 14....hehehehe *evil grin* so she wanted me to do a post, but i really have nothing to write about. i'll post tomorrow when she's at work. i'll probably put something really cute and sweet up...... ok
Later haters,
~A | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| i've seen sam every nite this week! and u kno wha, it's fucking great. she's my world rite now. sat i went to friends and we met up. i went down to her house sunday nite and got some massive hickeys. monday she came up. but had to bring morgan cause joanna was busy.... tuesday her and morgan came to see me at work. morgan was SOOO FUCKING cute. she was calling me daddy..lol. she was also singing "don't cha wish ur girlfriend wasn't married" and we were calling FJ, doogen *sp?* * i want her t-shirt* i had such a good time. and last nite....well think what u want! ;-) i am falling even more in love with her everyday. i can't help it but to call her every chance i get. but sometimes i feel that no matter what i do, i can't treat her the way she deserves to be treated. i am giving her 101% but even that doesn't feel enough. her mom invited me to thanksgiving. and i am dying to go. especially since her husband is gone...she's ALL MINE! last nite i told morgan that i loved her.
ok so i'm sure u are sick of reading this...i'm going on to other stuff.
will someone give me a hi-five for FINALLY bringing my escort to the shop for clutch work. someone offered to buy the intrepid. julia finally got an alignment and her tires rotated. next is a remote car starter in the montero.
i got today off of work and i am thinkin about goin to see sam in bradford. julia has to work 7-11pm. maybe we'll go to the 3. hm... i'll figure something out. gotta go my belly is growling..
later haters,
~A | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Avril Lavigne - Fall to Pieces
I look away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
[Chorus:]
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you
You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the star
Back into your arms
[Chorus] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| |
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